As I go throughout my day, I always think of brilliant things to write about. I have these random (semi-brilliant) thoughts floating through my head, but recently it seems that whenever I sit down at a keyboard they all evaporate (hence the title of this blog). No worries, though. This blog may not end up being as profound as I would like it to be, but my stream of consciousness writing usually turns something up.

I've been seriously thinking about moving to Florida (I don't know if I've mentioned this on my blog or not yet). The weather is great - very much what I'm used to (hot) and if I had my own place I could avoid freezing (keep the air conditioner set warmer than it is my parents' house). If I move down here I will seriously look into buying a house (foreclosure) and hoping that in the next 5-10 years the economy returns to robust and then I can make quite a profit selling a fixed-up house. I like the area down here. I would be close to numerous family members at least six months out of the year, and out of all the churches down here, there has to be one that I can relate with (... maybe). It's not very hard for me to leave Indiana behind. Other than a few friendships I have there (both who live nowhere near where my family resides), there's not much holding me back (well, the family, but they spend half the year in Florida). Ohio is a bit harder to leave behind. I love the area there (but I also love down here). I have a lot of good friends in the Ohio area and I will be sad to leave them. I also have an amazing church with good worship, accountability and practical messages. It will be hard to leave Agape (the church). I was considering moving to downtown Columbus for school, but I really think I'm going to do the online school route when I return to college, so I would not need to live in downtown Columbus anymore. I could live near Agape (which I thought I was going to have to give up before). So, in actuality, my two big options are northwest of Columbus, OH and Florida. I love both the areas, have friends and a church in one, family in the other. That's what it comes down to - choosing between a church and my family. It's such a hard decision. It's an impossible decision. How am I ever supposed to decide!? If a job opens up in Florida, I'll move down here, but it's not looking overly likely. I'll give it a few more weeks, but I really should start making up my mind soon one would think.

I've decided to just put the whole college thing on hold. I thought that maybe I could swing it this fall, but I should definitely wait until Fall 2010 when I will get financial aid based off of my income (vs my parents'). So that is what I will do. That takes a lot of pressure off which is nice. In the mean time, I can continue to investigate different online schools (and just make myself clear that I am not wanting to be pressured by these pushy enrollment service people!). As I've immersed myself in web design the past couple days, I've been reminded of just how much I love it.

I've been redesigning a website for a 55 and older community down here in Florida. It's been great fun. The original design was disgusting - I cringed every time I looked at it, but it was exactly what my client wanted - extremely basic with large font. I was embarrassed to have my name on it. However, this new design I am quite proud of. I am actually in love with it I think! Now I'm down to the tricky work of figuring out how to word some of the text and lay out a couple pages. It feels a little overwhelming, but like most things, it will come with time.

God and me are still just there. I lay in bed each night before I fall asleep and try to talk to him. Then I fall asleep. Throughout my day I'm doing my own thing. I never open my Bible. What to do? What to say? Where to read? I need community so bad right now. I know it and I'm also powerless to do anything about it (considering my schedule is packed and it consists of a ton of traveling). I want to be a good follower of Christ. I'm fed up with the church at large. I want to see change. I want to be and be around people who are serious about following Christ. I want to make a difference. How? I need answers.

This hasn't been very well put together at all - forgive me. It goes against my desire to have more polished writing on here, but the past couple entries have served more as an outlet for frustration than for thought-provoking literary pieces or well-written stories of my life. Maybe next time.

Until then... Go watch The Office.