Well, I've been back in the states for well over a month now. A lot has happened in that time, and a lot will continue to happen for the rest of the summer. I'm back in Indiana. I never thought I'd be heading home from FL and be bummed about coming back to IN, but I am! It's nice to see that I've moved beyond my teenage hatred of Florida. I'm still seriously considering Florida as an option for next fall. I still don't have all the information needed to make a decision, though. I need to wait until the end of August to see if a job lines up or not. So, at the moment I'm at a place where I don't have much of an option other than to wait.

While I was in FL, I accomplished quite a bit. I wrote an article for the Indiana Home Educators Association's monthly magazine. It was about my trip to Africa. It didn't turn out exactly the way I envisioned it, but I think it has a good point and will hopefully encourage people and push them to think about the world beyond their safe, mid-western communities. I think the magazine is actually going to be an e-zine the month my article is run, so if it is, I'll be sure to post a link up here. If not, I'll post the text on my other blog.

I also redesigned the website for Tall Oaks, a 55+ community in Naples, FL. I had made the original design, but hated it. It was simple and elementary, but that's what the boss wanted. This time, however, I took a bit more creative license with it and I'm happy with the results. http://talloaksofnaples.com

As I'm looking forward into the next few months, things will continue to be busy and will continue to be full of unknowns. Truth be told, I'm getting rather tired of unknowns, but I'm trying to take them in stride and enjoy them. There definitely is stuff to be enjoyed in unknowns. I have quite a bit of responsibility in the next few weeks - counseling at choral camp, leading campfire worship, leading worship for the counselors on the weekend, learning the music for and singing in the CMC Conference choir. It's a lot of pressure. The past few weeks have been a lot of pressure with writing the article, redesigning the website, and various other things. The question that always haunts me is this: What if I'm not good enough? Sometimes it can come in the form of: What if I fail? The bottom line, though, is always, what if I don't quite measure up? In times like these it's always glaringly obvious to be that there is someone who is either better with their words or can keep rhythm better or is more spiritual than me. I feel like an impostor. I question: Do people really know what I'm like, or are they fooling themselves? If they really know what I'm like with all my weaknesses, why did they choose me? I don't know. Maybe I'm the one who is fooling themselves. Maybe there is more to me than I can see. I don't know how I'll figure it out. I guess my only option at this point, is to shove those nagging fears to the back of my mind and put on a mask of confidence, because at this point, I don't know what other options I have.