This past weekend can best be described by the title of this entry: a whirlwind. Saturday morning approached much too quickly after my returning home from all my summer traveling only a few days earlier. I forced myself out of bed and left shortly after 7:30 am. Many hours of driving later, I met a friend from my first year at RBC for coffee at 2:00. Around 4:00 I attended Jason & Lydia Yoder's wedding. It was a beautiful wedding. I am so happy for them both! Around 7:00 I headed down toward Columbus where I spent the evening at a friend's house. The next morning I was up bright and early to babysit for my friends while they went to worship practice. I gave a ten minute presentation about Kenya that morning (ten minutes is simply much too short. I felt like I couldn't even scratch the surface of my time there). The message that morning was about mercy - how God shows us mercy and how we are called to extend that same mercy to those around us. It was a good message and something that I need to apply to many relationships in my life right now. After church my old small group was going out to lunch at a pizzeria and they invited me along. I enjoyed hanging out with them all and getting to spend some time with them. I miss them! Around 2:00 I headed toward Indy. I had a good conversation with Jody along the way and that was challenging and encouraging. That evening Beka & Thomas and I went out to dinner (Applebee's - yum!) and we walked around downtown Indy to try and work off the food that was sitting in our stomachs. This morning I drove down to home and here I sit. I've spent some time praying today. I've also spent some time meditating on Scripture (not as much as I should). I've worked on going through some of my stuff that is dumped in this room. There is so much to go through. There is so much to figure out what to do with. I suppose I should get a box and box some more of it up.

It's looking like the next several years of my life are going to continue to be a transition stage. I wish I was moving into an apartment or house for a long period of time and could unpack all the things I have sitting in boxes. Instead, I'm going to be spending a year somewhere (probably FL) and then off to school for two more years. Before all that begins next month, I need to finish going through the stuff I have here in this room. I then need to go through all my boxes in my storage unit and consolidate and label things that I will need in the coming years and put the rest (kitchen supplies, linens, etc.) into long-term storage. It seems like a big job. It never quite ends. That and random jobs around the house here will keep me fairly busy for the next month I have a feeling. Come the end of September, I will have decided for sure whether I will reside in IN or FL and I will be looking for a full-time job for the year. Please be praying for me over the next month as I make decisions.

I really want to be where God is leading me. Some people hold to the belief that there is one specific thing that God has for me. Other people believe that there are a host of good choices that God is letting me choose from. I'm not sure which I think. I kind of hope it's the latter. It would take a lot of the pressure off. As long as I'm continuing to seek His face and choosing options that are in keeping with being a faithful follower of Christ, then I can't go wrong.

I've started thinking again recently how maybe I'm taking life just a tad bit too seriously. I came to this conclusion in Africa, but in the hustle and bustle of American life, it's crept back into my mindset. Yes, this is life. Yes, it is important. Yes, I want to do my best to follow Christ and do the work He has called me to. However, if I make a mistake it is not the end of the world. If someone laughs at me or thinks I'm a little ridiculous, my world is not going to crash in on me. I feel this constant pressure on me to be performing and to be perfect. I can't be perfect. I'm going to try to do the best that I can for Christ, but perfection is beyond my grasp. And honestly, when I'm aiming to be perfect here on earth, it's not Christ I have in mind - I want to please others. So I need to let that go.

Also, when I really stop and think about all that I need to do and accomplish, I realize it's kind of silly. Yes, I need to be responsible. I need to be able to provide for myself and be an adult and take care of myself and housework. But I get so uptight thinking about this and that and all I need to do. All of a sudden, I'm just adding things to do simply to stay busy. I need to re-learn how to simply exist sometimes. I need to find the beauty and the joy in the moment and the journey - not the future and end goal. What I have accomplished in worldly standards is not going to matter come the end of this life. What I have accomplished for Christ is going to matter. And Christ doesn't necessarily have a long list of tasks that He wants me to accomplish before this year is out. I think He has a long list of people that I should invest in and cherish and a long list of tests and calls to obedience. That's different, though, and that's good. I want to keep my eyes open for those and not get distracted by my worldly to do list.

We go round and round
Back and forth and almost upside down
To buy who we are -
A great big house, nice jeans, and a shiny car
But I'm learning that this world keeps turning
with or without me
So I'll do my best and leave the rest
to the one watching over me

Because I'm Alright
Trouble may find me
but it's not gonna keep me down
'Cause I'll hold on tight
To the Father who loves me
and likes having me around
'Cause He loves me, and He cares for me,
And so I'll be alright

- I'm Alright by FFH