Psalm 63

I spent some time this evening meditating on Psalm 63. I read this Psalm often. As I'm flipping through my Bible looking for one Psalm or another, my eyes usually fall on the purple box I drew around the "63" sometime while I was in Africa.

This Psalm prompted quite a bit of journaling and prayer about my current life situation. Man, I just want more of God. I want to experience His presence and I want Him to be my joy and the thing that keeps me going.

Later when I was just thinking about this passage, but not necessarily in my quiet time, I thought about a "dry and weary land where there is no water." I lived in a land like that for about three and a half months. The most memorable day that comes to mind was when we went to Lake Turkana. We didn't take extra water with us, because it was a "short walk". It ended up being just as long as our walk to church (five miles). We hung out at the lake for awhile, and very quickly our water supply diminished. We were extremely hot, sweaty and feeling a little sun burnt. Even worse was the fact that we thought we were going to have to walk all the way back to town without water. We were desperate for water - we didn't think we were going to be able to make it without some more!

Where is that attitude in my life? How often do I just fall on my knees before God and cry out with desperation? "God, I cannot make it through this day without more of Your Spirit! Provide for my needs - pour out more of You into my life!" I think I get to the point of desperately needing water often, but I go looking for other things - chocolate, a friend to talk to, an activity to distract. All the while, I am shriveling up and starting to die inside. I simply can't go on without water. I want to turn it around to God when I reach this point and fall on my face before my Lord - and not get up until I've been filled by the Holy Spirit.